PTSD, survivor’s guilt and zombies…

Video by Tech. Sgt. Christian Jadot
California National Guard Public Affairs

Story and photos by Staff Sgt. Katie Grandori
79th Infantry Brigade Combat Team Public Affairs

Oct. 20, 2020

SAN DIEGO – Artistic expression is not something people typically equate with military service, but for Sgt. Brian Ball, a California National Guard Recruit Sustainment Program noncommissioned officer, his comic book, RAGS, developed during his time working in the 79^th Infantry Brigade Combat Team’s Headquarters and Headquarters Company in 2016.

The comic book features a former Marine protagonist named Regina Rogowski who finds herself in a world overrun with zombies trying to survive while dealing with post-traumatic stress disorder, survivor’s guilt, unsavory characters and a surprise teammate. The story and dialogue are full of jokes that military people can enjoy, and civilians might need to research to understand.

When Ball started the project, it was more of an inside joke with friends, but with time it developed into more.

“We would bring scripts to drill and show the guys. Like, ‘hey, read this stupid thing that we just did.’ And then it eventually became a thing,” said Ball, who now serves as cadre for the California Army National Guard's Recruit Sustainment Program.

Some of the writing happened in a San Diego armory after Ball finished his duties and waited for release from drill. Ball incorporated real conversations that he had with fellow Soldiers into some of the dialogue.

“I borrowed from my own experiences as a Soldier in the military,” said Ball. “And then some things came from females that I’ve met in the military. They have shared their stories about what they have experienced. We have had some laughs, and I took all of that.”

Ball avoided the way mainstream media often depicts the military in films. He wanted to creative richer, more relatable characters.

“We always see these stories about these stellar Soldiers, Marines and Airmen that leave the military and do great things on the outside,” said Ball. “But I thought, what about, you know, a mid-tier sort of person who did everything right in their career, and they just hit this bump. They had a fall from grace and never recovered.”

Regina is this kind of character. The former Marine facing down zombies is what originally drew Raven Monroe, RAGS' colorist and coincidentally a red-haired former Marine, to the project.

“It struck a chord with me because being a female Marine, we don't see a lot of stories about female Marines that are not super Hollywood," said Monroe. "The fact that she was written so raw, and so real, and so relatable, I immediately loved her."

Ball and Monroe met in a college course on project management. They actually used his comic book for the course because it was a working project at the time. When RAGS' original colorist left the project, Ball got in touch with Monroe, and she was happy to assist.

“It’s like happy memories that it brings back, so it's like a mini therapy session every time” said Monroe.

Art has always been a form of therapy for Monroe. During her time in the Marine Corps as a heavy equipment operator, she drew in her spare time.

“Whenever I could find a sliver of time, I would go and I would draw something,” said Monroe, “which led to me being known as the 'shop crayon.' I've been doing art ever since after leaving the Marine Corps.”

The nostalgia that the comic book series brings to readers like Monroe is exactly what Ball was going for when writing RAGS.

“I really want them to laugh,” said Ball. “We have a lot of unspoken stress on our shoulders, just weighing us down. I want them to read this and see somebody that’s suffering from the exact same thing.”

PTSD is a common thread throughout the comic book. In some ways, the zombies that follow Regina around are like a metaphor for persistent problems that she is not ready to face.

“Sometimes your problems can feel like a giant zombie horde, ready to pull you down at any given moment,” said Ball.

PTSD and loss are something that Ball and many others in the military are familiar with. Ball is especially concerned with the mental health of military members as he has lost people close to him to suicide. He hopes that his comic will give them something to relate to and encourage them to seek help.

“You can take charge of your life and turn it around yourself or with a good battle buddy,” said Ball. He says finding a good friend to watch your back is one of the main themes of RAGS.

“Letting go doesn’t mean you’re weak. It doesn’t mean you’re forgetting what happened. But it is a way forward to have peace with everything that you have done,” said Ball.

Regina, the protagonist, learns this truth at the end of the series.

“She's finally able to confront herself and accept herself,” said Ball. “At the end, she walks out that last building, with her battle buddy, sees all these zombies, these problems, in front of her and just starts tackling them one by one.”